How To Change Your Self-concept & Become Your True Self
This book is not a step-by-step guide but rather an invitation to explore the depths of your own being where your true self resides. It’s a continuous process of shedding layers of your false identity until you arrive at the truth—your most authentic self.
To understand this process further, you need to see the whole picture. It happens in cycles, non-linearly, and without a plan. It's like building a house without blueprints. You begin construction without knowing the final result, but you keep moving forward. It's like a jigsaw puzzle: as you place pieces, the image clarifies, even with many blind spots still remaining. You maintain faith in completing the whole thing. Changing your self-concept towards inner alignment with your true self can’t be done in any other way, but you will realize this while reading this book.
Changing Your Self-concept
Living authentically requires aligning your self-concept—the collection of beliefs you hold about yourself—with your true self. Only faith in your inner potential can reshape your self-concept and your identity that you identify as yourself towards becoming more of who you really are.
The goal is not any particular outcome, but rather our state of being and inner alignment with our true selves. When we enter this state, we experience an inner knowing that we are one with everything. This is sometimes called the unity of mind and heart, where our conscious and subconscious selves work together in harmony. Changing our self-concept is no longer about doing anything from the perspective of our ego, but rather about experiencing and being the most authentic version of ourselves.
By purposefully and repeatedly entering this state, and by having faith in the revelation of our true selves, we become that. This isn't blind faith in something external; it's faith in your core being. You may not see it yet; you may not believe that it exists, but it is there.
This book shares fresh ideas and new ways of thinking that society often ignores. It’s like getting a new pair of glasses to see your own life completely differently, maybe for the first time. Finding your true self isn't just some lofty idea for philosophers; it's something real you can do every day. It changes how you feel and what you choose. When you start listening to that quiet voice inside you – your inner knowing – you naturally start being more real, more you. You stop trying so hard to fit in or pretend. It feels like dropping a heavy weight. Things you do won't feel forced anymore. You won't have to push and struggle so much. Instead, your actions will just flow naturally, easily, right from the heart of who you truly are. It's about living from the inside out.
When you really connect with your true self, you start to feel deeply connected to everything and everyone – like you're part of something much bigger. Call it life, the universe, or simply a sense of belonging. This book helps you find your way to feeling that connection, not just thinking about it. It shows you how the journey itself is the goal. You don't have to wait until you reach some future point to feel fulfilled. The peace, the clarity, the authenticity you find while you're learning and growing – that's the state you've been looking for all along. By living as your true self right now, in this moment, you suddenly realize: "Wow, I'm already home. I already am what I was searching for." It’s a powerful shift from constantly striving to simply being.
So, the real point isn't just to understand what "true self" means in your head. Anyone can read about it. The goal is to actually live it, to feel it in your bones, to be your most genuine self day in and day out. We often think purpose is a big, important job or a grand achievement we have to chase in the future. But this book suggests something radical: just being truly you, right here, right now, is the most important purpose there is. It’s about showing up authentically in each small moment, letting your natural good qualities – like kindness, calm, or joy – shine through naturally, without faking it. Your purpose isn't something you find "out there"; it's how you choose to be right where you are. Your way of being is your purpose.
Life’s Purpose
Are you searching for a deeper sense of meaning? A life that truly resonates with who you are? In a world that constantly pushes us to achieve, to strive, to become someone else, this book offers a radical alternative: to discover and embody your true self.
We often chase goals based on our external expectations. But what if true fulfillment lies not in what we achieve, but in who we are?
When we are dissatisfied with our lives and current circumstances, we often try to escape them by pursuing some goals. We strive for distant future goals, forgetting to live in the present moment. We believe that achieving these goals will fulfil our destiny. The problem is that our future aspirations may not align with our current self-concept; we are not at one with them. We feel separate from our goals, and when we pursue them, our self-concept is not aligned with our true being. This creates resistance.
Our self-concept is how we identify ourselves—our prior self-knowledge and everything we associate with ourselves. The problem is that this self-perception often doesn't align with our goals, leading us to strive for them through sheer effort. We are not true to ourselves; we are not true to our being. We try to force the achievement of our goals, and this causes suffering.
Our being, our inner self, needs to be aligned with our goals. We need to feel a sense of oneness when pursuing our purpose. It is an expansion towards oneness. Nothing outside of yourself is affected.
We don't need to strive for a false, idealized identity pictured in the distant future. We need to release limiting patterns associated with this false identity until we arrive at the truth—our true self.
Ideal Self
Dissatisfaction with our current circumstances often motivates us to change our lives. We set goals and envision a future self while being dedicated to improvement.
However, focusing on specific goals can be limiting, preventing us from seizing unexpected opportunities. We become closed off to new possibilities, fixated on our chosen path, and clinging to our dreams, fearing that letting go equates to failure. In this way, we try to protect a false identity that we’ve built, and prove our worth through achievement.
We know we must change—transforming our identity towards our ideal. We assume that we must realign our present self-concept with that ideal.
Our identity is our self-concept—a set of beliefs we hold. To realign with that ideal, we usually envision it and work towards it with effort. We create a life plan and hope it unfolds as desired.
The truth is that we don't have to constantly hope and strive for future attainment. We impose many limitations on ourselves by creating ideals viewed from our limited perspective.
We want to achieve our goals and fulfill our dreams, hoping life unfolds as desired. We always want, need, and hope for something from the limited perspective of our self-identified character. We believe that achieving our goals and fulfilling our dreams will finally bring happiness. The problem is that trying to achieve something that feels separate from ourselves will never bring lasting fulfillment.
If we want to feel whole within, we need to be one with the object of our desires. We need to experience oneness with the source.
The truth is that we cannot expand beyond our source. What is that source? What is that ever-present essence within? It is the essence of God.
From our limited perspective, we cannot see that our ideal is a limitation we unconsciously impose on ourselves.
Higher Vision
Our ideal is not necessarily God’s ideal. Why not envision our source, our higher self—our most authentic self? We should embody this higher self and its inherent qualities, which are already present within us. We can embody it only when we change our perspective, seeing everything from a higher point of view. We let go of our three-dimensional persona and expand toward the fifth dimension, beyond time and space, where our true self resides.
By exploring the nature of reality, we learn not to identify with our false self, our three-dimensional persona, but with our true self.
Therefore, changing our self-concept doesn't require striving and effort. It's about finding our true self, realizing that self from within, and accepting that as ourselves. Either way, it doesn’t require effort because we already are that self. We are only unaware of our true nature.
The Nature of Reality
In our modern society, we believe in an objective 3D reality—one that we can see and touch. We believe in tangible things that can be supported by facts. When we encounter a different perspective, we simply dismiss it as non-factual.
Can you imagine something existing beyond this 3D reality? Can you imagine higher-evolved beings? Is it possible that our reality is not what we think it is?
Perception of The World
We perceive a clear separation between objects and ourselves in our 3D reality. The oneness of all is not visible because we cannot see who we truly are. We are interconnected as one. There is one substance and one state of mind encompassing everything, including us. "We" includes more than just mind and body; consciousness is also present.
We perceive the world through our state of consciousness. This state, combined with our self-concept, shapes our perception. Different arrangements of this state create different perspectives. If you identify with your ego, your perspective will be ego-based, perceiving the world through self-importance.
False Identity
Our identity is a self-concept that we identify as ourselves. This identification with our character stems from past memories. You recall your name being repeated countless times, years of work, and instances of illness. You identify with your name, profession, and experiences of sickness.
We often identify with our minds and bodies, believing this defines us. But there's more to us than our physical body. We have several other layers of our mental, energetic, and spiritual existence. The combined function of mind, energy, and spirit—a wave-like entity—is an infinite living mind. It's a mind in constant motion, flowing through space.
A fundamental challenge we often face is identifying primarily with our minds and bodies, remaining unaware of our deeper, true nature. This attachment to denser, more limited aspects of ourselves can lower our energetic vibration, leading to negative feelings and sensations.
While we may instinctively resist these uncomfortable states, they signal limiting patterns and unresolved aspects within us. The path to peace involves transcending identification with this 'lower self' and integrating the life lessons these challenges present. By doing so, we release stuck energy and realize the truth: we already are our true nature.
This inner work requires mastering different facets of our being because they are interconnected as one.
Mentally, it requires cultivating awareness of our thoughts without identifying with them to release patterns like anger, bitterness, and resentment. Energetically, we also need to learn to work with our inner energy and emotions to dissipate fear and cultivate calmness. Spiritually, we cultivate inner growth by refining our attitudes and responses to overcome arrogance or pride and engage skillfully with life. These three aspects—mind, energy, and spirit—form a unified whole.
These aspects are interconnected as one. Once we recognize the interconnectedness of our beings, we find that it’s our inner core that influences the other layers of ourselves and not the other way around.
To restore balance within ourselves, we need to recognize the causal element of ourselves; our inner qualities of being are our inner essence. We need to embody that essence already present within and live as that.
A Journey Within: A Guided Self-Reflection Exercise
When we reflect on the nature of self, we are essentially connecting with our inner core. Through this process, we will clarify our values, define our principles, and gain insight into what brings us genuine fulfillment. We will explore the idea that our essential nature—our true self—is experienced through particular inner states (like peace, connection, or freedom). By deepening our connection to our inner being, we will learn to recognize which states represent our authentic self.
Below you can find several questions regarding your core values and internal principles. Engage with these questions honestly, curiously, and with kindness towards yourself. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers—only your unique insights.
Exploring Core Values & Principles
1. Initial brainstorm: What truly matters?
Ask yourself: "What truly matters to me in life?"
List everything that comes to mind. Don't filter yourself yet. Consider people, experiences, feelings, tangible things, ideas, ways you contribute, etc.
2. Focusing on life areas:
Now, think about different significant areas of your life. Examples include relationships, career, health, personal growth, community involvement, spirituality, creativity, or any others that resonate with you.
Choose at least five areas that feel personally important right now.
For each chosen area, reflect: What is essential or fundamental within this area for me? Conversely, what aspects feel less critical?
Consider why these specific areas hold such importance for you.
3. Identifying your core values & underlying states:
Review your brainstormed list and reflections on life areas. Identify 3-5 core values or priorities that stand out as most fundamental to you (e.g., Connection, Growth, Integrity, Freedom, Security, Creativity, Compassion).
For each core value you've identified, delve deeper: "What is the underlying feeling or state of being this value represents for me?" Think about the actual experience. Freedom isn't just an abstract concept; it's the state of feeling free. Creativity is the state of being creative.
Try to name this state, perhaps using the "I AM feeling..." or "I AM being..." format. These states often signify moments when you feel most aligned with your true self. The reason you chose a specific value likely points directly to the desirable state it facilitates.
For instance:
Truthfulness matters because "I want to connect deeply with others." The desired state: Connection (I AM feeling connected).
Compassion matters because "I want to feel genuine love." The desired state: Love (I AM feeling loved).
Kindness matters because "I want to feel appreciated for who I am." The desired state: Appreciation (I AM feeling appreciated).
Looking Ahead
You will have the opportunity to revisit this exercise later in this book. Comparing your responses then and now can offer valuable insights into your personal growth. As you continue reading, we will explore how certain conditioned patterns or identities we adopt over time might sometimes obscure our connection to these fundamental states. This initial reflection is a vital step. By consciously connecting with your inner being and identifying these core states now, you begin to clarify your path toward living with greater authenticity and integrating the lessons learned on your journey.
Finding Your True Self
At the heart of each of us lies our true self – the fundamental essence and authentic presence that constitutes our innermost being. To achieve alignment is to consciously connect with and express this core self, allowing our lives to unfold with greater harmony and purpose.
Finding your true self isn't the hardest part. The hardest part is maintaining unwavering faith when everything seems to go wrong and continuing to move forward when you're ready to give up and revert to your old way of life. The difficulty arises when you know theoretically what you should be doing, but lack clarity when you need it most. You're suddenly in a blind spot, subconsciously aware that your ego has taken over, but unable to understand how to escape it because everything seems blurry.
Reconnecting with our true self is done through introspection into our own being and perspective shifts. Meditation is the way to re-establish this connection.
To reach your true self, present within, you must penetrate deep within the layers of our subtle body and cease all the activity to arrive at the truth. It’s less about trying to change something on the outside and more about letting go of all the outer effort. You can’t reconnect to your true self from the perspective of your self-identified character. You need to transcend all the mind and body activity to arrive at the truth. If you are trying to figure it out from your mind, using your limited intellectual understanding; it is as if you use something outside of yourself to determine the truth. Your true nature can’t be understood; it needs to be experienced with your whole being.
Limiting Beliefs & Conditioning Patterns
The argument against objective reality isn't merely philosophical; it's deeply practical. It suggests that our deeply held beliefs, often formed unconsciously in childhood or through ingrained societal conditioning, create a filter through which we experience the world. This "perceived reality" often limits us, trapping us in cycles of suffering driven by fear, attachment, and the need for control. The ego is the primary architect of this limited perspective, clinging to a false sense of self defined by external validation and achievements. The path to self-realization, therefore, involves a dismantling of this ego-driven construct. This isn't about self-deprecation or denial; rather, it's about self-acceptance – embracing all aspects of oneself, including the "shadow self," those parts we repress or disown.
Once we transcend all the repeating patterns of our old self, we become the whole individual, in terms of individualized consciousness, that is unattached to all things.
Practical Exercises To Navigate The Process
This book offers various techniques to navigate this process. It starts with exploring our core values and principles and whether they are aligned with our true self. Self-inquiry, through practices like journaling or contemplative introspection, encourages a deeper examination of one's beliefs, motivations, and emotional responses. On the other hand, effortless attention helps release any internal resistance by directing attention to different parts of the body.
After reading this book, you might pause on concepts like the effortless state, surrender, and the practice of non-doing, questioning how a 40,000-word book could be written in a state of non-doing. The secret is to stop pushing and allow information to come to you. You don't force things; you dance with life as a partner. You can't demand a dance partner move a certain way; you flow naturally with grace and dignity, responding to each movement. Life is your partner and not a hostage that you are threatening if things don’t go your way.