Aloneness is inner aloneness; it doesn't mean one is physically alone or separate. It means existing without ego, without one's past identity. Ego cannot exist in aloneness; it requires wants, needs, and desires to fulfill.
Our sense of self-importance seeks relationships, social status, and material possessions. It protects past decisions, beliefs, and social position, constantly striving for control and claiming there's no other way.
It's a false personality based on past mental object relations—in other words, attachments. Freed from attachments, one is present, here and now. It's a state of purity, a clear and empty mind.
Aloneness allows intimate connection with another human being while remaining alone in essence, in the core of who we are. When relating to another, we relate to their essence, not their form.
Feeling lonely and being alone are different. We can be alone or surrounded by crowds and still feel lonely. Loneliness stems from a lack of connection to our inner essence. When lonely, we feel something is missing—a part of ourselves. We seek external connection and fulfillment, acceptance from others, but this cannot be found outside ourselves due to attachments.
Meditation helps establish that inner connection and fulfillment. Humans are often described as social animals, primarily because of the fear of loneliness and perceived judgment when alone. We run from ourselves, chasing an externally defined "normality." This loneliness arises from incompleteness, from attachments to people, cultures, and things.
We perceive ourselves in relation to external objects, and attachments distort self-perception. The goal is to become a unique, alone individual, free from ties to others. To break free, we must be alone, away from our past identity and old self. The problem is that we often perceive ourselves as needing external validation by achieving goals. Society encourages competition and constant comparison, but this isn't necessary.
We need to escape a system designed to discourage individuality. We must stop pretending to be like everyone else. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely; it means striving to become a whole individual who doesn't seek external validation. Becoming this individualized self paradoxically leads to a sense of oneness, because nothing is missing within. We have integrated all our previously unaware parts, instead of seeking them externally. We fully accept ourselves for who we are.