The problem arises when we perceive ourselves and the external world as separate, creating a distance between subject and object. This perception leads us to see other people as separate from ourselves. We become conscious of a dual nature and fail to see the world as an extension of ourselves. We are not in alignment with our being; we are not true to ourselves.
When we perceive a separation between ourselves and things, people, events, and situations, we become attached to them. A connecting link—an energetic feeling of resistance—exists between us and the object of our attachment. These attachments can manifest as beliefs in separation, which further reinforces a sense of separate self-consciousness.
Is your ego in control? Exploring ego states
From a limited perspective, we identify with our ego-mind, attaching our sense of self to it. This leads to a distorted perception of our 3D reality, based on the ego's state.
We can categorize these states into three groups based on their function: mind (thoughts), heart (emotions), and body (attitudes).
The "thoughts" group includes mental states such as worry, guilt, and shame. These thoughts originate from a higher aspect of ourselves, signaling, in which state we are currently in. The problem arises when we identify with these thoughts, thereby experiencing worry, guilt, and shame. The "emotions" group includes mental states such as fear, anger, and resentment. We experience intense emotions when reacting to our thoughts. These states serve to highlight perceived separation, inner resistance, and distrust related to events, people, and things. The "attitudes" group includes mental states such as denial, arrogance, and pride. These arise when we deny our experiences, masking our inner selves to appear worthy.
Repeatedly experiencing these states—thoughts, emotions, and attitudes—can manifest as beliefs in separation, control, and lack.
When we unconsciously enter these ego states, we become trapped in a continuous cycle of creating similar limiting beliefs and conditioning patterns. These patterns penetrate deeper into our being, reinforcing themselves—a process we could call karma.
The concept of karma can be misleading because no higher power judges our actions. God doesn’t judge. With karma, we are not punished for our sins but we are punished by our sins. When we operate from our ego, we create our own heaven or hell. This is because we're not acting authentically, and thus create repeating patterns that play out in our lives.
The never-ending cycle can look something like this: We feel a lack in our lives because we've experienced a situation where we felt guilty or ashamed. As a result of this perceived lack, we want to protect our identity and prove our worth by achieving certain goals. We then become attached to the outcomes and worry about future results. This leads us to try to control the situation and take action, because we perceive ourselves as unworthy and separate from the desired outcome. Because of this, we feel even more unworthy and pursue more goals until we recognize the pattern and see it clearly for what it is.
When we closely observe and become aware of these emotional states, we can completely let them go. Therefore, it's important to remind yourself several times a day what state you are currently in. Are you feeling down or sad, as if something is missing in your life? Do you constantly feel angry and worry about the future? Are you afraid of a specific event that is going to happen in your life?
Challenging the belief in separation
When we feel separate from the source, we are attached to future outcomes and expectations. Our happiness and fulfillment are based on the conditional pattern: "Once I get this and that, then I will truly be happy." The problem is that the outcome promising fulfillment will never arrive, because we are not chasing something external but the feeling associated with that experience. As previously stated, happiness is not attained but realized internally. Therefore, even if we achieve an outcome, we will never be truly happy, because once fulfillment is reached, it will not last. While attached to outcomes, happiness becomes fleeting, dependent on present external conditions. We might believe that the next, bigger goal will finally make us happy. But again, we remain slaves to external circumstances, and even achieving a larger goal will not guarantee lasting fulfillment.
The importance of believing in control
By clinging to desired outcomes and chasing elusive success and fulfillment, we attempt to control people, things, and situations. This stems from a belief that we are responsible for our failures and a fear of repeating past mistakes. This fear drives us to control our current circumstances. However, by controlling out of fear, we are essentially preparing for what we don't want—we are trying to prevent the worst possible scenario and its consequences.
Abundance vs. Lack: Which belief system rules your life?
When the desired outcome and its associated feelings fail to materialize, we feel a lack, a sense that something is missing within us and needs fulfilling. We feel sadness because we resisted our negative experiences, pushing away the unconscious parts of ourselves that yearn to be acknowledged. Therefore, we strive to achieve more goals and desires, attempting to prove our worth through achievement, instead of reintegrating and accepting all aspects of ourselves.