Identity is a concept we identify with as ourselves. It's based on our past experiences, beliefs, and learned behaviors. Our identity resides within what we consider our "safety boundaries"—our familiar and comfortable sense of self. When we, or others in our circle, cross these boundaries, we become uncomfortable, trying to escape this feeling as quickly as possible and at all costs, returning to our familiar self. This discomfort and perceived unsafety stem from the fear of judgment from others. That's why we try to control our experiences, out of fear of being judged. When we try to control our experiences and escape perceived judgment, we're essentially preparing for the worst-case scenario and what we don't want. We're trying to prevent unwanted future occurrences, but as the saying goes, "whatever you resist, persists."
Our distorted perception ensures that judgment will likely occur, because it merely reflects our past experiences of being judged.
To avoid the risk of judgment, we often adhere to cultural beliefs learned and shared within groups. These groups may share beliefs based on religion, politics, science, spirituality, ethnicity, or nationality. Essentially, we desire belonging within a group that shares our interests, avoiding the status of an outsider; this is why humans are often described as social animals. This perspective is often portrayed as normality within our society. Any other opinion might upset people because it essentially challenges their identity, belief system, and past actions.
Every culture possesses a unique set of beliefs shaped by its history, geography, and the collective experiences of its people. These beliefs influence various aspects of culture, from art and literature to music, food, and social behavior. Cultural beliefs are fundamental to every society, shaping how people perceive the world and interact.
The problem is that cultural beliefs are merely learned behaviors or knowledge, not innate aspects of our being. They are not core to who we are but rather learned rules we're expected to follow.
We are not supposed to follow rules that someone else is imposing on you. We are supposed to follow our hearts, because righteousness is ingrained within them.
From early childhood, we're exposed to rules dictating what we should and shouldn't do. We are conditioned in this way, and failure to comply leads to the threat of social exclusion. This conditioning encourages conformity to the majority, and any aspiration to be different is often suppressed by others, as it threatens their own identity. This fosters a scarcity mindset, limiting us because we continually revert to familiar, accepted ways of life.
By deviating from the norm, you also threaten others' identities. Simply not doing what everyone else does can cause others to question their life choices and past decisions. Do you not have a regular 9-to-5 job? Have you outgrown your family and colleagues? Do you have different interests and hobbies that don't align with theirs? Do you prioritize yourself over others' wants and needs?
They might try to convince you to conform to societal norms, standards, and preconceived notions, urging you to act like everyone else. In fact, you're not doing anything illegal; you're merely threatening their identities.
Letting Go of The Old Identity: Who Are You Beyond Your Past?
We cannot resist the old before we can accept the new. We need to see our old identity for what it is: that it no longer serves us. If you don’t make peace with your old self and your old familiar life, you will continuously revert to your old habits, beliefs, and limitations. You can’t run away from the old because you are still connected to it. You are still connected to your family and authority figures via an energetic link. You are still attached to them, you need to release these connecting links and let go. Revealing our inner convictions is the way to go.
You need to let go of family and friends who don’t accept you for who you are, because you can’t live your life if others are imposing limitations on you. Systems and the people within them often hold certain cultural beliefs and expect you to follow preconceived notions, rules, and regulations—to conform.
You need to release your resistance to change, to fighting old circumstances and resisting the new. If we find ourselves in a negative situation or circumstance, we should not fight or run away from it, but look at it and see it for what it is. That way, we can release anything holding us back from the past. We need to learn from it and integrate that part of ourselves.